The Killer
People describe me as half-human, half-ghost when they talk about me. Some say I am a headless monster, which is why I always chop off the head of my victims. Others say my body is decayed and maggot-infested. I laugh whenever I hear a new version, because nobody has seen me. The ones who did, I killed them, even before they could talk.
Only Ifeoma knows what I look like – I let her see me again because she’ll be seeing me often, henceforth. She was scared when I took her from the beach, but she'd put up a brave face, all the while staring at my scars with disgust.
If only she knew she was there when I got the scars…
It was a Saturday evening, many years ago. I was back from hunting, and my wife had just returned from the market and was about to prepare her healing potions. Then shouts came from outside. Engrossed in wiping my machete, I didn’t notice when my wife left the hut.
I jumped at the sound of her scream. I was outside the door in a flash. The villagers were yelling, ‘Witch! Witch! You must die!’ Dragging my wife between. And then I saw him – the man with the club. One quick blow and my wife tumbled to the ground. Another blow and her body stopped moving.
It happened very fast, but I watched it, transfixed, and when it dawned on me that she was dead, I entered the hut and drank the potion she said was only for emergency.
I felt strange.
But I was late; the villagers had set the hut on fire already. The door did not budge when I tried it. And so the fire consumed me. Later, the villagers took my body, along with my wife’s, dumped us far out in the sea.
That night, while they were celebrating the death of the witch and her hunter-husband, one of them, drunken, had wandered far towards the beach. He froze when he saw me.
I smiled as I swung my machete at him, and I watched his head roll towards the-
“Oh, baby!”
I straighten up and peer around the tree, my eyes scanning for the distraction. I see them few yards away, lying near the edge of the water – a man and a woman, kissing and fondling.
I clutch my machete.
Then I creep towards them.
Footnote: This is the third episode of The Beach Man, a 400-Word Blog Series.
Click HERE for the next episode.
Thanks for reading!
I'm right on time, bro!
ReplyDeleteThe beach man really had a bitter past--a stressor as some may call it. And now you leave me with an ending full of suspense. God! I feel like am watching a horror movie.
Haha! Horror movie? Well, thanks much. I'm glad you're enjoying this story.
DeleteThanks for dropping by! :)
Awesome! So good. I know of another author who includes the POV of the bad guy like this, Nalini Singh. You should check her out because also does a great job at crossing races and cultures. I love this series, Kaykay. Don't forget to try the #MondayBlogs hashtage for new blog posts.
ReplyDeleteThanks a lot, Robyn. I'm glad you like it. I just checked out Nalini Singh. The blurb for Angel's Blood looks good. I added it to my TBR and hope to read it soon, as well as check out her other books.
DeleteThanks for stopping by! :)
nice post... d beach man really hav a nice #continuity but i think his identity should yet not be open to continue d suspense
ReplyDeleteThanks, Fayrouz. I'm glad you like it. About the identity of the beach man, I tend to switch POVs of the good and bad in some of my stories.
DeleteThanks for your suggestion, though. And thanks for reading! :)
Thirsty for blood,Vengeance flows through his half-human and half-spirit being...nice series mehn.Dis shuld b a movie.Lyk d way each episode ends,it raises d suspense.Bro u gud...I wonder y he doesn't want to kill Ifeoma,culd she b...Keep it up Bro. E'FACE
ReplyDeleteThanks, Eface. I'm glad you're following the series. I hope I don't disappoint. LOL :)
DeleteThanks for reading! :)
I really like the concept of a series of 400 word stories. I'm impressed by how much tension and intrigue you have created in each episode. I'm anxious to read what happens next. Well done.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Alex. I'm glad you like the series. :)
DeleteHi,
ReplyDeleteI managed to read the third part. A little delayed but I did it. :)
I like that you have the killer's POV. I have that too on Dazed but I don't tell who the killer is.
I really liked this story too. You let the reader wonder and there is a nice tension.
With all the respect, I have a suggestion to make. I think that this part would be even better if you didn't tell us whose POV is this. You could change a little the start and not tell about the victims, then you could tell his story as it is and with the ending you already have, you would have a more amazing 400 word story.
Of course that is just my suggestion. I like your work and I will keep reading. :)
Thanks for reading, Athina. I'm glad you like the series. :) And thanks too for your suggestion. I really see your point and would look into it. Though, in my other WIP, I don't give much details about the bad guys, even though I write sometimes in their POV.
DeleteThanks for stopping by. :)
Shamefacedly sounding cliche: yes, you disappointed a little prematurely giving away the identity of the killer.
ReplyDeleteA little redemption for you: it has a supernatural twist. It SEEMS.
Okay, now I've had three readers say I shouldn't have given away the identity of the killer. I think that's a good suggestion, and thanks for that. I hope I can take these suggestions and make my WIP better because I tend to write in the POV of the bad guys.
DeleteAnd thanks for that redemption, Christopher. I'm glad you stopped by. :)
Nah! Don't misunderstand me, Kay. A villain is a human being, and so you do very well by giving us a peek into his thought, motivations, ideology etc. But, if you must do that early, leave out any pointers to his real person.
DeleteYeah! Supernaturals defy psychology which is the next highpoint. Biology of the actual death is the lowest point in a thriller. For ME. Sensible supernatural though. Lol!
Thanks for the suggestion, Chris. I get it now.
Delete"Biology of the actual death is the lowest point in a thriller."
Quite true for me too!