Monday, June 24, 2013

The 400-Word Story: The Beach Man #9






















Ifeoma

Flashing a wicked smile, the killer turns away from me and moves toward the spiritualist.

She directs the mirror at him, chanting the words of an incantation. Ignoring the urge to run away, I pull back and watch; the killer has stopped in midstride, whining like a dog in pain. His skin begins to peel off and fall to the ground, revealing ugly scars.

The spiritualist closes the gap between them, and he drops to the ground. Just then his body begins to shrink and shrink, until nothing is left where he’d stood except for his shredded skin and the clothes he’d worn. Then she places the mirror upon the clothes, waves me over.

I ignore my instincts, which tells me to run away, and move towards her, my heart pounding violently.

“This is the most dangerous part,” she says, handing me the knife. She points to the mirror. “He’s in there. He’s very, very weak now. Strike hard. Shatter the mirror in the first attempt or you’ll awaken him, and all our efforts will be useless.”

I can’t keep my hand from trembling. “Please can you do it yourself?”

She shakes her head.

“Why?”

“The creator destroys her creation.”

“What?”

“Your potion created him. Only you can destroy him now.”

“Are you sure this-”

“Don’t worry, it’ll work.” She pats my shoulder. “Breathe in, breathe out. Don’t strike with fear.”

“Okay.” I suck in a deep breath and then let it hiss out slowly. I feel power bubbling within me as I steady my hand and clench the knife harder, determined to end this torment.

The spiritualist steps back. “Strike.”

I raise the knife and in one powerful move bring it down upon the mirror, smashing it with a loud clink. A body drops behind me. I turn around; the spiritualist lies on the ground, thrashing violently, gore rushing from a deep gash in her throat. I stare at her, confused, and just then someone laughs behind me. I spin around – the clothes, the shredded skin, the knife, the mirror, everything is gone.

“I tricked you fools,” the familiar voice says, although I can’t see anyone. “Now you’ve become what you always avoided. A killer.”

The spiritualist bursts into a fit of coughs. I whip around. She’s trying to say something.

I lean closer to her and catch the name on her lips before her body goes still.

Shola.


Footnote: This is the ninth episode of The Beach Man, a 400-Word Blog Series.
*Click HERE for the next episode.

Thanks for reading! And stay tuned for the tenth episode next Monday.

14 comments:

  1. KayKay, this episode is arresting with an intelligently penned ending--for me, that's creative writing at its peak. Just when I thought the story had come to an end, another twist says otherwise.

    Who is Shola? Hmmm, I can't wait to find out.

    You're doing a great job with this story. Abi I go call you Stephen King?

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    1. Haha! Abeg neva call me Stephen King yet o. I haven't read any King yet, though I have one of his books--a short story collection--I hope to read soon.

      Thanks for reading, Uzo. I'm glad you liked this episode. :)

      Have a great week!

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  2. well done kay kay...ure doing a good job,dis episode is captivating, i love the suspense...keep it up!

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    1. Thanks for reading, Martha. I'm glad you like it.

      Have a great week! :)

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  3. Real captivating nd great suspense.new episode,new discoveries.ure gud man.ure a 5-star rating.ure gud.keep it up...

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    1. Thanks a lot, Eface. I'm glad you're following, as well as enjoying the series. Thanks for that 5-star. :)

      Have a wonderful week!

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  4. Oh, that was good. I think that there is some good in the killer. Deep down he is a troubled man. Maybe Ifeoma will see that and maybe after they've been through hell, there is some happy ending.:)

    Keep writing. :)
    Thanks for sharing.

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    1. So you're liking the killer too? LOL :) Thanks for reading, Athina. I'm glad you liked this episode.

      Have a wonderful week!

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  5. love this! you know how to build the suspense!! im a new follower!
    -Haley @ http://readyforrandom.blogspot.ca/

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    1. Thanks for reading, Haley. I stopped by your blog and I'm following you. Welcome to the Blopshpere! :)

      Have a great week!

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  6. I missed this while I was on my vacation. Kaykay, Shola?! I can't believe you have managed to draw me into this bad guy so much. He's so interesting. I like that he's luring her one way or another. Awesome addition to the series!!!

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    1. Thanks a lot, Robyn. Welcome back. I hope you had a great time while you were away. Yes, I know you did. :)

      I'm glad you find the bad guy interesting. And oh, I missed reading your awesome Think Out Loud posts. :(

      Have a great weekend!

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  7. Impressive. Best yet. Liked the new twist. Was almost disappointed it was ending that way and so soon.

    But what really impressed me was the psychological stunt the killer pulled on Ify. Now the story begins!!!
    The unveiling of the darkness in even Ify. She shouldn't have been too quick to judge the killer. (pls don't mind my speaking like the killer's advocate. WRONG IS WRONG, even if it has a reason/cause!)

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    1. Best yet? :) Thanks a lot, Doc. I'm glad you found this impressive and loved the twist. It just came out of nowhere; I thought the story was going to end, too.

      "WRONG IS WRONG, even if it has a reason/cause!" Nice words. :)

      Thanks for reading!

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