Monday, July 1, 2013

The 400-Word Story: The Beach Man #10


When I wake up, I find myself still sitting on the chair in my room. I grab the towel beside me and wipe my face, trying to recall the dream I just had. Few feet away from me, Chika folds the last of my clothing and slips it into my backpack. She zips up it and looks at me. “I’m done. Emeka’s waiting for us at the motor park.”

I shake my head. “I told you I’m going nowhere.”

She frowns. “See, our lives are better than this NYSC. Two corpers left this morning. Everybody knows this place isn’t safe anymore. Please brush your teeth and let’s leave, okay?”

I look away, and then she walks over to me after a moment of silence. She begins to say something, but I cut her off.

“Leave me alone! Why do you even care now? Go away. I’m not coming with you.”

I expect her to walk away, but she just looks at me and wipes the tears flowing down my cheeks. Then she gently pulls me up and hugs me. “I’m very sorry. I wish I’d listened to you when you first told me about the dreams. Please let’s—”


Everything comes back to me and my body stiffens against hers.

She steps backward. “What’s wrong?”

“Call Emeka. Tell him to come back. We’re not leaving.”


“We’ll die if we try to leave.”

“What are you talking about?”

“The dream I just had. The beach man was the bus driver. He plunged the vehicle into a river, and we all drowned.”

Chika opens her mouth to say something, but then thinks better of it and closes it.

“You’re thinking, what if you leave alone with Emeka?” I say. “Not a good idea.”

She stares guiltily at the floor for a while, then looks up at me. “So what do we do now?”

“I’ll go to the spiritualist place and check around. I need to know who Shola is.”

“I’ll go with you.”

“No, you’ll stay here with—”

Someone knocks on the door, and Chika crosses the room to open it before I can stop her. My stomach drops when I see the woman by the door: heavyset, dark chocolate skin, piercing eyes—a replica of the spiritualist.

“Hello, I’m Shola Adeniyi,” she says, looking at me, and then as if noticing my shock, she adds, “Folakemi’s twin sister.”

Footnote: This is the tenth episode of The Beach Man, a 400-Word Blog Series.
*Click HERE for the next episode.
NYSC: National Youth Service Corps. A one-year national service in Nigeria for graduates, aimed to bring about unity in the country and to help youths appreciate other ethnic groups
Corpers: Popular name for graduates working under the National Service scheme, although an appropriate term is “Youth Corps member.”

Thanks for reading! And stay tuned for the eleventh episode next Monday.


  1. I love that you included aspects of your culture like NYSC and Corpers. So the spiritualist has a twin. Why is she there? To help catch the real villain or take revenge on our distressed heroine? You got me hooked on the bad guy and I missed him, but I'm happy that someone in Ifeoma's circle finally takes her dreams seriously. As always, I can't wait for the next one!

    Have a great week, Kaykay!!

    1. "You got me hooked on the bad guy and I missed him" You missed him, eh? I missed him, too. :) I'm glad you liked the aspects of the NYSC. I thought it would answer the questions of setting, or stuffs like the characters' job.

      Yeah, the spiritualist has a twin. Maybe your questions would be answered next week.

      Thanks for reading, Robyn. Have a wonderful week, too. :)

  2. Well, as the story goes I want to know more. How the spiritualist and her sister are involved in the story? What the killer really wants? I look forward for the next one.

    One little suggestion: I would cut the scene the moment Shola Adeniyi introduces herself. I guess the reader understands she is the spiritualist's twin. Plus, it add more tension.

    Happy week Kaykay. :)

    1. Thanks for reading, Athina. Thanks for the suggestion. I thought I should reveal her identity in this episode. The next episodes might answer your questions.

      Have a great week, too! :)

  3. Dude,d connection wit nysc mke sense,nd evn ds shola,I wonda weda na d real shola or na d beachman in disguise.cos d beachman is always a step ahead.goodwrk man.

  4. Dude,d connection wit nysc mke sense,nd evn ds shola,I wonda weda na d real shola or na d beachman in disguise.cos d beachman is always a step ahead.goodwrk man.E'FACE

    1. Thanks for reading, Eface. I'm glad you loved the NYSc connection. Helps give the story more life and the characters purpose.

      Have a great week! :)

  5. Guy! You know na!

    Well done! Wooooo!

    1. Haha! :) Thanks for reading, Seun. :)

      Have a wonderful week!

  6. The element of horror seeping from Ifeoma's dream into her reality creates more tension in this episode. Her conversation with Chika only shows that things are about to take another turn which I eagerly wait to see. Introducing Shola is another dice on the table--quite and interesting and intriguing. But for some reason I feel this Shola is not the real Shola. Maybe the killer has taken up her form to further torment Ifeoma. Nwa, jisi ike.

    1. Haha! I also thought that Shola might be the killer, but I don't know yet. Maybe we'll know in the next episode. :)

      Thanks for reading, Nwa nne m. :) Udo diri gi.

  7. Beautifully written and sounds super exciting! I love reading these and I can't wait to read the next episode! :)

    Florentine @ Readiculously Peachy

    1. Thanks a lot, Florentine. I'm glad you liked this. Thanks for stopping by.

      Have a great week! :)

  8. I am enjoying this. Now we don't even know which aspect of the story is real or a dream. And it's fun noting that she dreams the future these days. Hehehe.
    Also liked that connection to NYSC. True about some strange things that happen in NYSC.

    For sounding shamelessly cliché, I also miss the killer.

    1. No, I didn't think you sounded clichéd. I'm glad you liked the NYSC connection. I'd wanted to add it in the earlier episodes, to give the characters life and purpose, at least let readers know they didn't just jump into that strange community. But I didn't want to fix the wrong info at the wrong places, so I omitted that. I knew I'd have to add it sometime.

      Thanks for reading! Glad you enjoyed it.

  9. Mehinks ye did right. I can't say you added it at a worn time. so, good call there.